A heartbreaking scene, “You can’t have it both ways.” The girl had fire in her eyes as she confronted the young man sitting across from her.  He had been caught.  There before them was the carnage of lies and half truths.  All he saw was he wanted her for a moment in time.  He knew she wanted something different, but sought to still possess her.

It was evident that he was partially successful.  He tried to shade the truth, and tried to pacify her, but the floodgates had opened.  She started to list her expectations.  She started to articulate the betrayal and laid out before him exactly what he had done through his deception.  He remained unaffected by her words.  There in a Paris cafe, her heart was on the table and he had no concept, no sense of reality of what he had done.

His reply, “I wanted to stay with you as long as possible…to pull it off.” 

With those words, he sealed his fate.  The relationship, friendship, and their connection as lovers ended.  It brought to light how much dishonesty is out there in the world.  She did not want to be a secret lover.  She wanted the “one and only” status of a honorable relationship.  She wanted no deception and had told him from the beginning what her desires were. 

She wanted love.  He knew he wasn’t able to love her back.

Most people want love, passion, and the communion of a stable relationship.  From the beginning, through lies, deception, the relationship was doomed.  Those moments, he stole from her, while his other girlfriend was away.  Cheating, is cheating and what few realize is you can’t dishonor one, without dishonoring all, including yourself.   Even if you are single, if you know what the other person’s expectation is, knowing how vested their heart is, you choose. 

You make that conscious choice about either living in the moment or having something more.  With respect to the outcome of this couple, what you can’t ignore are your instincts.  She had an instinct that he intended on still having a relationship with a girl who had gone abroad.  She repeatedly questioned him because she sensed he was not truthful.  Go with your instincts.  Often what a person does to one person, they will repeat their behavior with another, unless the person matures.

Relationships are not about being selfish, they are about being selfless.  Isn’t that the way to enter into any relationship?

Image © Wolff & Tritschler/Zefa/Corbis