Most people underestimate themselves. This is particularly true in dating and relationships. I am amazed at how many people ignore the “red flags”. Why is this? The seemingly obvious to others is a lot harder to see when it comes to matters of the heart.

Don’t ignore that nagging thought or feeling. Your intuition is there to help you make sound decisions. It is normal to make these assessments. To help, I thought up a list of questions to help you think about the types of questions you might want to ask not only your partner, but also yourself.

Here are ten questions to really think about.

1 What do want in your relationship?
2 Do you feel comfortable sharing your dreams with your partner?
3 Where do you see yourself in five years?
4 Are you able to be yourself no matter who is around?
5 Do you get jealous?
6 Are you comfortable with your level of intimacy?
7 Are there things you want to change in your partner?
8 Do you feel self confidence in all areas of your life?
9 What do you perceive as your partners greatest strengths and weaknesses?
10 Do you rely on someone to make you happy?

Now, there is no real right or wrong to these questions, but there are two questions you should pay attention to:

Do you get jealous? Jealousy has to deal with trust which is an essential component to a healthy relationship. The trust should exist both ways. Couples should never test this element, because the consequences are usually very hurtful. Jealousy also indicates a possible controlling type of personality. No one wants to be controlled. People want the freedom to be themselves. True, there is a measure of compromise in relationships, but it never should be to the point where one partner dominates the other.

Do you rely on someone to make you happy? Neither one of your should say yes to this question. The important thing to remember is no one controls the thoughts and feelings of another person. This simple concept is hard for a lot of people to understand. The reality is, only you are responsible for your personal happiness. You choose how you respond to another person.

The closer you are in your answers will reveal the direction your relationship is going. It is important for each person to realize they can only bring themselves to the table. Good relationships don’t just happen, they are nurtured.