Oh dear. Can I really see this screen? Maybe not. But I’m sure I saw some very interesting things last night.

A great day of shows was followed by a crazy night of packed-out parties, with scores of fashiony folk banging down the heavy doors of some heavy-weight London locations.

The On|Off 10th Anniversary party pulled a papparazi-pleasing crowd, with Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Lady Victoria Harvey, Matthew Williamson, Nat Weller and plenty of other flash-friendly faces. The queue snaked around the Royal Academy for anaconda-like miles, ensuring that everyone inside had the feeling they really should make the most of it in thanks for not having the iron gates shut in their MAC-made face. There was some colourful characters amongst the chic ensemble – shout out to my Parisian Pappz who was busy making photo ’storyboards’ with anyone and everyone having a sneaky fag outside – are you really into photos? Or just a bit pervy? Either way, he gave us a chuckle in a somewhat quiet party.

Always in search of greener grass (or stronger shots) we made our way to the Qasimi after party at the newly-launched Buddha Bar. I attended the opening last week (woops, forgot to tell you about that – but check out the photos here) and it’s a great venue with plenty of quiet coves to discreetly consume as much sake as possible without burning the throat.

The after party could not have lived up to the splendour of their earlier show (read about it here and see photos and videos here) but they tried. I made the most of the fruit slices in my cocktails due to the lack of cooking this week will allow. I think the apple slices had a strange effect on me, as next thing I knew bottles of sake were lying sideways on the table and we’re hitching a lift with Simon from The Apprentice to the next stop – Bungalow 8.

Surviving the rickety ride in Simon’s old school Porshe, we find Bungalow banging out the cheese (Relight My Fire, anyone?) but get straight into it with stalker-stride dance-moves even the leggiest model would’ve envied. My model friends (both girls and boys) were trying not to get shagged by their bookers and when a huge fight broke out we were all trying to not get sharded by the flying glass. But it was champagne-fuelled fun at it’s Monday best.