Why is it so hard for people to trust themselves? In a lot of ways people are struggling with themselves and ignore their intuition. Whenever you compromise yourself you are lying to yourself. So, you may be asking yourself how this applies to the relationships you have had in your life. Think about this, how many times have you gone into a relationship knowing that it was doomed from the start.

Let’s take this one step further–have you noticed that you seem to be going into the same relationships? Sure, the physical bodies may be different, but underneath the shell is the same man. Albert Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. ” So I ask you for a moment to think about your patterns of thinking, speaking, and behavior.

Starting with your thinking; are you always thinking about the type of person that you don’t want? This is the first thing people usually think about. What is the biggest myth? It is that someone is supposed to make you happy. You have to be in control of your own thoughts, your own emotions, and your own life. You have to know who you are and be in constant appreciation of who you are. Aren’t you worthy of a great relationship that is a constant flow of love and growth?

The way you think about yourself is crucial for success in every area of your life. The way you think about yourself leads to the way you speak about yourself and others. We have all heard people that constantly talk about what they don’t want and seem to always get what they don’t want in their lives. They are the catty ones that loves to hear about how awful someone is doing. There is a reason why misery loves company, because it is like a cancer that spreads. Sometimes you find you must walk away from people that want to drag you down. Why do people get upset when someone smiles on a Monday morning? A lot of people want their negative feelings validated and encouraged. It takes a lot of courage to go against the flow of negativity in your life.

Now be honest. Do you really want to be a negative person? Do you really want despair? Do you really want things to continue in a downward spiral? Pay attention to what drives these emotions. If you surround yourself with positive people, you can’t help but to be positive as well.

When you get to the last item, your behavior or your actions…you need to think about what you your actions say about you. What are you telegraphing to the world about yourself? With every action there is a reaction. The law of cause and effect is always in motion. Are your actions telling the world the truth about who you are? We are always studying one another, looking and making our assessments. We start with the exterior to make the inital call. Do we like what we are seeing? In a lot of ways, our intuition guides us over to people we are attracted to.

For some of us, we get nervous because we want their approval. This is where we get it wrong. Mentally, people start tearing themselves apart, going over the internal inventory of flaws instead of going over their assets. If you are a fun person to be around, project that. Don’t think about the blemish that all of a sudden showed up. Think about the great hairstyle, the outfit, the inner confidence you let bloom, and the achievements you had a part in. When you think about all of the positive things about yourself, internally and externally you start to radiate a positive energy. Is this vain? No. You have to be loving to yourself and love yourself in order to attract a person that will be loving towards you.

Have you ever noticed abusive couples? The girl could be the most beautiful creature in the world and she is with a guy that has exercised complete control over her life. Maybe she thought she could save him and change him. All of a sudden her whole world is him and she lost complete control. There is a sense of powerlessness to leave the unhealthy relationship. She has had all of her support systems uprooted from her life, and even her economic power has been stripped away. She was willing to be anything to have his love instead of being herself.

Don’t be that woman. When you are who you are, you will draw the right person to you. Instead of living a nightmare, you will have the happiness you deserve.