This week marked the celebration of my birthday and one of the most painful experiences of the year. Problems happened across the spheres of family, friends, work and love. Specifically, I received a call about a close friend’s passing the day before my birthday champagne brunch. Needless to say, I was not in the best mood but was persuaded into having the brunch anyway. Sitting in the midst of friends and Mr. F (who has been surprisingly super sweet), I realized that sometimes a person has just got to be strong.

Student Guy attended my brunch but in the last two weeks, the chemistry has faded to a platonic friendship. He’d been acting elusive in the last few weeks, causing me worry since every time I managed to get hold of him, he seemed so depressed about school and the rapidly-vanishing finance career options. To cheer him up, I’ve told him repeatedly to go meet other girls and if he did, just to let me know as I would appreciate that bit of honesty.

So I guess all my attentions are now centered on Mr. F, who is stubborn, a non-planner and insists on an open relationship. I’m a sophisticated woman so of course, I thought I would be up to the task. However, it drove home to me at the brunch that I did want his exclusive affection. That I didn’t want to be a casual date. How’s that for a revelation?

Then I woke up bright and early on Monday morning (my actual birthday), got on Facebook and saw photos of Student Guy with another girl plastered all over my screen. Turned out Student Guy hadn’t been absent from my radar due to school, but rather because he didn’t know how to break the news of the other girl to me. What is wrong with men, once they are past the toddler stage? As I told Student Guy in an unpleasant phone call following that episode, even friendship requires honesty. And to find out about it on Facebook where every mutual friend can bear witness? Yeah, Student Guy was right when he said he wasn’t thinking.

That was when I furiously typed a text message to Mr. F. You see, back when I went on the first date with Mr. F, I agreed to an open relationship provided he tells me when he starts sleeping with other girls besides me. Because moi does not want to be one of them in that regard. And what did I find out from my text message? That Mr. F thought I knew about it along. As if!

So now I’m back to being just friends with Mr. F, despite liking him a lot more than I’ve liked someone in the past few months. However, I can hardly agree to a relationship involving such open sexual arrangements if I wasn’t open that way, right?

Rationale vs. Emotions. Is it my openness that is the problem here?

Image courtesy of Monica’s Dad